Posted March 2026

Few words are used more often—and misunderstood more completely—than confidence.

Parents want their children to have it.

Leaders want to inspire it.

Entrepreneurs want to project it.

Students believe they need more of it.

And countless adults spend years waiting for confidence to arrive before they pursue a dream, speak up, launch a business, write a book, or share a message.

But confidence rarely works that way.

Through her work as The International Conversation Coach and founder of The Speak Feed Lead Project, Jackie Bailey has observed a powerful pattern among thousands of youth and adults:

Confident people are not necessarily fearless people.

They are people who have learned to act despite fear.

The Confidence Myth

Many people believe confidence comes first.

They assume that once they feel confident, they will finally:

• Raise their hand
• Speak in public
• Start a podcast
• Write a book
• Share their story
• Apply for a TEDx talk
• Take on leadership opportunities

The problem is that confidence is usually the result—not the requirement.

Waiting for confidence before taking action is like waiting to become strong before going to the gym.

Confidence is built through experience.

What Jackie Sees Every Day

When new students arrive at The Speak Feed Lead Project, they often describe themselves as shy, nervous, anxious, or unsure of themselves.

Some avoid eye contact.

Some struggle to introduce themselves.

Some are terrified of speaking in front of others.

Adults often carry similar fears.

They worry about being judged.

They question whether their story is important enough.

They wonder if anyone will listen.

Yet something remarkable happens when people begin practicing small acts of courage.

A student introduces themselves to someone new.

A teenager shares a personal story.

A parent speaks up during a meeting.

An entrepreneur records their first video.

An aspiring speaker delivers their first workshop.

Confidence begins to grow—not because fear disappeared, but because action happened.

The Courage-Confidence Connection

One of the greatest misconceptions about successful speakers, leaders, and changemakers is that they are somehow different from everyone else.

In reality, many of them started in exactly the same place.

They felt uncertain.

They felt vulnerable.

They felt unprepared.

The difference is that they acted anyway.

Every courageous action sends a message to the brain:

"I can do hard things."

Over time, those experiences accumulate.

And that accumulation becomes confidence.

Why Communication Matters

At The Speak Feed Lead Project, communication is viewed as much more than a public speaking skill.

Communication is a confidence-building skill.

Every conversation, presentation, interview, podcast appearance, or speech provides an opportunity to strengthen self-belief.

When individuals learn how to communicate effectively, they also learn how to:

• Trust themselves
• Advocate for themselves
• Connect with others
• Navigate challenges
• Lead with influence

Communication becomes a pathway to confidence.

The Role of Small Wins

Many people assume confidence comes from major achievements.

A TEDx talk.

A book launch.

A standing ovation.

A successful business.

While those accomplishments can certainly reinforce confidence, the foundation is built much earlier.

Confidence grows through small wins.

A conversation.

A question.

A story.

A single moment of speaking up.

These moments may seem insignificant, but they create evidence.

And evidence is what confidence is built upon.

What This Means for Parents

Parents often ask how to help their children become more confident.

The answer may be simpler than expected.

Confidence grows when children are given opportunities to:

• Express their thoughts
• Tell stories
• Ask questions
• Solve problems
• Share ideas
• Take healthy risks

The goal is not to eliminate fear.

The goal is to help children learn that fear does not have to make decisions for them.

What This Means for Adults

Adults face a similar challenge.

Many continue waiting for permission, certainty, or confidence before pursuing opportunities that matter to them.

But confidence rarely arrives through waiting.

It arrives through participation.

The first speech.

The first podcast.

The first workshop.

The first difficult conversation.

The first courageous step.

Confidence Is Built, Not Bestowed

Perhaps the most empowering truth about confidence is that it is not reserved for a select few.

It is available to anyone willing to practice courage.

Confidence is not something people have.

It is something they build.

And every time a person chooses to use their voice, share their story, or step into an opportunity despite uncertainty, they add another brick to that foundation.

At The Speak Feed Lead Project, the goal is not simply to create better speakers.

It is to help people become more confident leaders, communicators, and contributors—individuals who recognize their value, use their voice, and create positive influence in their families, communities, and the world.

Because confidence is not the starting point.

It is the result of answering the call.