Posted September 15, 2026

AI Can Write for Your Child. But It Can’t Speak for Them.

Why communication, conversation, and human connection may be among the most important skills we give our children in the age of artificial intelligence

I’ve been having a little fun with AI lately. If you follow me on social media, you may have seen images of me swimming alongside a sea turtle, skydiving, or enjoying an adventure in Costa Rica.

{Insert one of those AI generated images here}

They look pretty convincing.

There’s just one problem.

They didn’t happen.

Artificial intelligence created images of experiences I could imagine having. And I love what technology makes possible. AI can help us brainstorm, research, organize ideas, create images, solve problems, and see possibilities we might not have considered on our own. I use it.

Our children are using it, too. And that is precisely why I think we need to talk about something bigger than whether AI is good or bad. We need to talk about what happens to the human being using it.

AI is already part of our children’s lives

This isn’t a future conversation. According to 2026 research from Common Sense Media, 86% of U.S. children ages 9–17 use AI, and nearly one-quarter use it every day. Yet more than four in ten children surveyed said a parent or guardian had never talked with them about AI safety.

More recent research from Common Sense Media found that 70% of teens use AI for schoolwork. Among teens using AI for schoolwork, nearly two-thirds reported using it in ways that can offload some of their critical thinking.

Interestingly, young people recognize some of the tradeoffs themselves. Among teens using AI, 38% said it leads them to generate fewer of their own ideas, while 39% said they sometimes feel they are missing out on learning when AI completes assignments for them.

That should get our attention. But I don’t think panic is the answer. And I don’t believe pretending AI is going away is the answer, either.

The question isn’t whether our children will use AI

They will. The more important question is:

Who will our children become while they use it?

AI can help a teenager write an essay. It can suggest an opening for a speech. It can create interview questions. It can summarize a chapter, polish a paragraph, generate a presentation, and offer an answer almost instantaneously.

But eventually, that teenager has to close the laptop and walk into a room. They have to look another human being in the eye. Introduce themselves. Ask a thoughtful question. Listen to the answer. Explain an idea they actually understand. Disagree without becoming disagreeable. Tell a story that belongs to them. Stand in front of other people and say, “This is what I think.”

And sometimes, when something truly matters, they have to find the courage to speak when remaining silent would be easier.

That’s where AI stops and the human being begins. AI can help your child sound impressive. It can’t make them influential.

There is an important distinction between having the right words and knowing how to communicate. I coach young people in public speaking, storytelling, leadership, and conversation. Again and again, I see that the skills that make a young person compelling aren't simply vocabulary, grammar, or perfectly constructed sentences.

They’re human skills.

• Curiosity.

• Empathy.

• Listening.

• Confidence.

• Presence.

• Storytelling.

• Critical thinking.

• Knowing when to speak—and when to stop speaking and listen.

Interestingly, teens themselves seem to understand this.

When Common Sense Media asked teenagers which skills they believe will matter most in their future, they prioritized human abilities such as working well with others, fact-checking and critical thinking, and reading and understanding complex information. Only 21% selected knowing how to use AI tools effectively as one of the most important future skills.

Perhaps our children understand something we adults are still trying to articulate. The future doesn't belong simply to the person who knows how to prompt the machine. It belongs to people who know what to do with the information after the machine responds.

What happens when AI becomes easier than another human being?

There’s another part of this conversation that concerns me even more than homework. Pew Research Center reported this year that 12% of U.S. teens ages 13–17 have used AI chatbots for emotional support or advice.

Think about that for a moment. For some young people, AI isn't simply helping solve a math problem. It's becoming someone to talk to.

I understand why. AI is available at 11:30 at night. It doesn't roll its eyes. It doesn't interrupt. It doesn't have somewhere else to be. It can respond immediately and sympathetically.

But the American Psychological Association cautions that AI cannot replace the emotional depth of real human relationships. Its guidance for parents emphasizes maintaining strong relationships, staying curious about how teens use AI, using technology together, and deliberately creating opportunities for meaningful human connection.

That matters because relationships require skills that technology can allow us to avoid.

A real person may misunderstand you. A friend may disagree with you. Someone may give an answer you weren't expecting. A conversation may become awkward. You may have to apologize. You may have to listen. You may have to change your mind. You may have to put someone else's needs ahead of your own.

Those aren't defects in human communication.

That's where human growth happens.

Five things AI should never do for our children

At The Speak Feed Lead Project, we teach what I call the Five Codes of Conversation.

They are remarkably simple:

1. Use someone's name.

2. Make eye contact.

3. Ask curious questions.

4. Listen for and reflect key words.

5. Remember: It's not about you.

An AI system can certainly explain those five things. It could probably write a beautiful essay about them. But it cannot practice them for your child.

Your child has to do that.

They have to look up from the screen. Notice the person standing in front of them. Become curious. Listen. Respond. Connect. And do it again and again until communication becomes something they don't merely know about.

It becomes part of who they are.

So perhaps we're asking the wrong question about AI

I frequently hear variations of: How do we keep AI from hurting our kids?

It's an important question. But I'd like to add another:

What should we be intentionally developing in our children because AI exists?

Instead of preparing children to compete against artificial intelligence, let's develop the distinctly human abilities they'll need to thrive alongside it.

Teach them to question an answer rather than automatically accept it. Let them wrestle with a problem before asking technology to solve it. Encourage them to create before asking AI to create. Ask what they think before showing them what the chatbot thinks. Have conversations at dinner. Let them order their own food at a restaurant. Encourage them to call instead of text occasionally.

Teach them to interview adults. Give them opportunities to speak publicly. Let them encounter disagreement. Help them learn how to introduce themselves, advocate for an idea, tell a meaningful story, and listen to someone whose experience is different from their own. And perhaps most importantly:

Give them reasons to believe their own voice is worth developing.

Don't raise children who can compete with AI

Raise children who know how to do what AI cannot.

I don't want our children to fear artificial intelligence. I want them to understand it. Use it. Question it. Create with it. And know when to put it down.

AI can generate a photograph of me swimming with a sea turtle. It can put me in the sky beneath a parachute. It can create an image of an experience I've never had. It can even help me organize my thoughts as I wrestle with ideas like the ones in this article.

But AI cannot be me. And it cannot be your child. It cannot replace their lived experiences, their curiosity, their relationships, their courage, their perspective, or the particular voice they will bring to the world.

Our children don't need us to prepare them for a world without artificial intelligence. That world isn't coming back.

They need us to prepare them for a world with artificial intelligence—while making certain they don't lose the curiosity, courage, empathy, critical thinking, conversation skills, and authentic voice that make them irreplaceably human.

At The Speak Feed Lead Project, our mission is to help young people become seen, heard, and respected by developing the confidence and communication skills to share ideas that matter.

In the age of artificial intelligence, I believe that work matters more than ever.

Because AI may be able to write for our children.

But it should never replace their voice.